Monday, September 17, 2018

Love and its shits

Based on the survey I've done, I can say that people define love as a feeling. Perasaan ingin diperhatikan, disayangi, perasaan ingin memiliki. Most of them have fallen in love before and it feels good. Gak semuanya bilang gitu si, ada juga yang bilang mixed feelings. Some of them has had a relationship before, some hasn't. Waktu ditanya kenapa susah menyatakan cinta, katanya takut ditolak, takut ignored feelings. Gak semua merasa perlu mapan untuk pacaran karena tujuannya adalah mengenal. Mengenal banyak metode nya kan hehehehe

Monday, September 10, 2018

(Sex) gratis atau berbayar?

I've asked 10 people about this and i got 3 points. First, yang gratis lebih baik. Kenapa lebih baik? Katanya sih karena melakukannya atas dasar cinta gitu. Yoi. Yang kedua bilang yang berbayar leboh baik. Kenapatuuuhh? Ya soalnya dasarnya sama kan, sama sama mau. Yauda yang dibayar ae sekalian. Ketiga, ga dua duanya. Sebenernya w setuju ke sini sih. Kenapa? Soalnya hal hal kaya gini balik ke orangnya lagi gaksi. Mungkin ada yg merasa she values herself more when she can do it with the one she love. Tapi gimana buat mereka yang merasa lebih valuable kalo bisa melakukan dengan konteks 'berbayar'tadi. Ya intinya gimana orangnya yekan

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Seringai-Kilometer Terakhir

The title got me thinking about running. IDK lol. After listening to this song, I can feel the emotion exploding there. What I got from the lyrics is that it tells about someone chasing their target. The target itself is called kilometer terakhir. They seems like letting everything go for the sake of this kilometer terakhir thingy. But there's no such regret and sadness, there's more anger and excitement isntead.

TKI Class

At first, I expect nothing special. I took this class simply to make my study credits fuller this semester, and also because many seniors recommended me to do so. The schedule was also fine, so i thought there wouldn't be such problem. On the first meeting my lecturer weren't there, but i was impressed by the classroom. The Classroom were TVST A which was comfortable with air conditioner , charging port here and there and also good lighting. The classroom was totally fine! On the second meeting, I finally got a chance to meet my lecturer! He was so much beyond my expectation. He's like one of those dosen-gaul hehe. Well, I hope I can learn a lot from this class and enjoy it.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Peace Writing


                The most remarkable peace I have ever made was not with a certain person. But, it was with myself. As many proverbs said that great things started with small steps, just as peace. Before spreading peace all over the world I should start from the smaller one which is myself.
                I started my peace journey when I was about in the first grade of elementary school. As a talkative kid, I loved to talk, making friends and playing with everyone. I got to know many friends everyday as the seats were mixed by my teacher.
                Things changed when I got to seat with these two girls. At first, I tried to talk to them like I usually talked with other kids. But they refused me. I didn’t know why they acted that way. As I try to get to know them, they refused me even more.
                I didn’t mind a lot. I kept treating them nicely, but I didn’t know why they kept refusing me away. As a kid we might have some “kiddy fight” with others right? Like mocking each other and stuff, these two girls liked to get me into their “kiddy fight” but I never paid attention.
                At first I wasn’t really care about it, but later I couldn’t bear it any longer. They called me “item”, “keriting”. I was okay because it was the fact that I was born with dark skin tone and wavy hair which would turn curly as I was short-haired at that time, but later their words become even worse. They called me “gimbal” “keribo” “dakocan” and “ucup” which was the name of a comedian who played the-ugly-man role. The worst one was when they said that I was so black as dog’s poop
L. What didn’t make sense till now is that I think they mocked me for my physical appearance but they also mocked me for joining ballet and art club at school.
                I tried to talk to my mom, asking her to protect me, to talk to them. But she never did, she always taught me what to say, she wanted me to finish it on my own. I was so upset at that time, thinking that mom didn’t care about me. Then, I tried to talk to them. They were silent at first. I could see them started to cry, but then they yelled at me. Spreading words they used to call me. It was a “great kiddy war” like the kiddy level kind of world war. It may sound too much but it was true. Many kinds watched them mocking me that way.
                Fortunately it happened at the end of the year. I got into second grade, having the new class. I was in the same class with one of them but I decided not to try to be her friend. They never said sorry.
                I started my second year well. Having a lot of friends. And one bestie who was closed since we were really young. But the words stayed on my mind. I may seem okay but deep inside, unconsciously I regret having myself. I always felt ugly no matter what. my friends didn’t successfully brace me, even my bestie. She has light skin color and long straight hair, what a contrary with me which made me feel even uglier every time people saw us together.
                It all kept going as I grow older. I remember clearly how I want to pick the skin-whitening-lotion, how I managed to skip swimming class because I didn’t want to get darker, how I buy hair products in purpose to change it.
                I got no result, even when people called me pretty never make me feel okay. Because things never felt enough and satisfying. I kept on trying to get into beauty standards. Then I realized, that I am born this way, God let me have this body for reason, I have to keep it, being grateful for what I have.
                And my parents also brace me up. They always said that everyone has their own beauty. And physical appearance is nothing without healthy body. Later, I find myself grateful for what I have.
                I continued my swimming class without managing to skip. I grow more confident